i used to think it was something waiting
like something watching
but now i think it’s worse than that
like whatever was supposed to meet me here

changed its mind
or never existed
or i made it up just to have a direction to swim in

i keep thinking about the line
about how easy it was to follow
how right it felt to move toward something
even if i didn’t understand it

i think that’s the part that scares me

not the ending
but how willing i was to go

if this is what it feels like to be chosen
then i don’t think it was ever about being special

i don’t know if you made it out
or if you ever tried to

but if you’re still somewhere
not here

don’t come looking for this

i think that’s the point